Stretch's Saloon

Being a Renaissance Bear, I like to get my paws into all sorts of different projects. Here's my latest, aptly described in an article by my Personal Photographer/Publicity Agent Paul Van Dort:

Well it seems the Emperor has a new hobby. He just purchased a saloon (using his assistant's credit card <ouch>) and is all prepared for the party. Let's see ... there's wine for his assistant, Jack for himself, a martini for Mitzi, and a bottle of Johnny Black for Paul. Joe will have to wait until he arrives to order.

Not to let anyone forget he's still the Emperor, he left his scepter lying on the bar in full view. Besides, Stretch told me that he keeps it handy in case someone gets out of line. He can grab it and give that person a wrap on their noggin as a reminder to behave. (A gentle wrap of course.)

Stretch also mentioned that the Saloon came complete with a painting of a naked lady behind the bar, but with his position on nudity, he had an aquarium installed to replace the painting.

Because he cares about people and to reduce drinking and driving, Stretch has the first 2-drink MAXIMUM, and you must wait 1-hour after the last drink before leaving.

Plant Talk on Sunglass Day: Hydrangeas

My Plant Talk is going to be short this week because I have an important holiday to celebrate today. So let's get on with it.

This week I’m focusing on my hydrangea plant. Here’s all you need to know about hydrangeas:

The name “hydrangea” comes from the Greeks (of course) and means “water vessel.”

Well, DUH! They could have said that about any plant in my collection, they are all vociferous water consumers.

Native Americans used the hydrangea for medicinal purposes. The root was used as a diuretic and detoxifier. The bark was used to ease muscle sprains and burns.

And, according to several websites, folklore says that if a witch puts a curse on you, you can use the hydrangea to break the curse.  It doesn’t say how that works, but I’m assuming smashing the plant over their head might do it.

 

Okay, that’s all I know about hydrangeas, so it’s time to get on with celebrating today’s holiday: Sunglass Day. Now that’s something I do know a lot about since I have a nifty pair of sunglasses which block out damaging UV rays. So I’m off to put them to good use today.

Plant Talk: Roses

Welcome to another episode of "Plant Talk with Stretch." This time I'm going to share some stories about roses. I spent a lovely afternoon at a local arboretum yesterday with my artist friend Rosieangelo. We saw some nice roses there, giving me the idea for my Plant Talk.

As you can see by my awesome rose bushes, I'm quite familiar with this plant. (Thank you again, Judy, for helping me with my landscaping/gardens. All the plants/trees you sent me are blooming just fine and I'm working on building my own arboretum.)

Now on to the history of the rose.

According to fossil evidence, the rose is 35 million years old! My goodness, how well they've endured. My roses don't even have a wrinkle!

Garden cultivation of roses is thought to have begun in China some 5,000 years ago. 

When the Romans got hold of roses, they used them for confetti at celebrations, for medicinal purposes (Rose oil helps heal dry skin) and also for perfume.

Those Greeks, as usual, came up with a weird idea for using the rose. They decorated the ceiling of their meeting rooms with roses whenever they had a conference they wanted to keep secret. That's where we get the term "sub rosa."(I'm thinking tulips would have been a better choice--as in "keep your tu-lips shut" if they wanted secrecy. Oh well.)

During the 15th century, the rose was the symbol for the warring factions in England. The white rose symbolized York; the red rose symbolized Lancaster. Hence the term "War of the Roses."

Roses were in such high demand during the 17th century, that royalty considered roses or rose water as legal tender. (Wow! Imagine how much e-Bay shopping I could have done with my prolific rose bushes!)

Most modern-day roses can be traced back to roses introduced into Europe in the 18th century from China. Hybridizers (interesting word, have to make a note of that in case it ever appears on Jeopardy!) worked with native roses to make them hardier, longer blooming and create a variety of colors.

So that's the quick lowdown on the rose plant.

However, I have a question for my Assistant. As readers of our blogs have seen, she is a history buff, with a special interest in the 1939 World's Fair. I got hold of this interesting postcard for her showing the "Rose Court" at that Fair. So what I want to know is, how come the Rose Court is planted with Tulips???

Fresh Fruit Month

Tuesday is usually my day for Plant Talk. I decided this week to do my Plant Talk later in the week because June is Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month and my friend Judy just sent me a wonderful trellis full of grapes.

So today I'm going to be talking about how to enjoy some fresh fruit.

I suggest you start a grape trellis of your own. Then, when the grapes are ripe, you pick them.

The next step is to crush them.  I’ve heard some people put the grapes in barrels and actually stomp on them, but hey, I’m not getting my paws stained. So I think I’ll use this trusty hammer my friend Rosieangelo gave me to crush my grapes. It might make a mess in my bathtub, but of course I have an assistant who’ll clean that up.

Next you put your grapes in a big cask so they can ferment. This can take a few months to a year or more, but luckily my grapes are small so they ferment quicker.

After a little while, like magic, your grapes have turned into Beaujolais Nouveau. Get a dish of cheese and crackers and a wine glass and enjoy your grapes.

My Trip to the Jersey Shore

I know all my friends are waiting to hear about my little getaway to the Jersey shore last week, so here goes:

The rules say I can move my ball out six inches from the bricks!

HOW far away is that hole????

You’ll all be happy to know that I had a great time on my trip with my Human Sidekicks.  One of our first outings was to a mini golf course where of course I was the only one to finish below par.

(My Assistant is muttering something about my math; I’ll check later to see what’s on her mind, right now I’m busy with the blog.)

So how I am supposed to get my ball back when it's at the bottom of this huge cup? (My Assistant retrieved it, of course!)

We also went to a Ripley’s Museum where Madame Zelda told my fortune, saying I was going to come into some money. And she was right! That night I went back to our hotel at Resorts and they had a game set up with a big board full of squares and you had to find one of six parrots that were hidden behind those squares. I pointed out a square to my Assistant and sure enough, there was a parrot behind it, and I won $10! 

Then I tried a slot machine and won $20!!!!

After all that excitement, the next day I decided just to crash. Nothing like a day at the beach to rev up your spirit. 

And I found a few nice shells along the shore to add to my collection. 

The relaxation did me good and so I was up for a trip to a bookstore that supposedly held 200,000 out of print and antique books. My Assistant went there to see if she could find any rare books or pamphlets on World’s Fairs for her blog and historical group. It turned out to be an incredibly messy place with boxes of books strewn all over, stuff crammed into shelves with no rhyme or reason and there certainly were nowhere near 200,000 books in this tiny place.

But as I told my Assistant, if something doesn’t work out, just move on to the next thing. Follow my example:  I went to the antique shop next door and bought myself this lovely brass clock and set of brass candlesticks; they will look good on one of my mantels.

The highlight of our trip was a visit to Lucy the Elephant, but I’ll leave that story for my Assistant to tell in our other blog. She gets so excited over historic stuff like that, and after beating her at golf and winning the parrot game, I think it’s only fair that I let her blog about the elephant. Besides, I need to go check e-Bay and see if I can make good use of my $30 winnings. . .

Yell "Fudge!" at the Cobras Day

This is a rite everyone north of the Panama Canal is supposed to participate in at noon on June 2.

According to the website for “Wellcat Holidays” in order to keep poisonous cobra snakes out of North America, all citizens are supposed to go outdoors at noon their local time and yell “Fudge.” They claim fudge makes cobras gag and the mere mention of it makes them skedaddle.

I was practicing yelling “Fudge” when I got a better idea.

If fudge is so nauseating to cobras, if I eat enough to get fudge breath, I should keep them away just as well. I’m surprised the writers of the Wellcat Holiday site didn’t think of this. 

Paul, how do you like my new Dutch Delft dinnerware?

Strawberry Season!

It’s strawberry season and I love strawberries, so you can probably guess the topic for this week’s Plant Talk. As you can see, I have quite a prolific strawberry patch, although I admit I didn’t grow all these berries myself. My Human Sidekick won’t let me dig in the dirt for some reason, so I had my Personal Landscaper Judy design, plant and care for my strawberry patch. She’s real good with plants, as you can see.

In my research for this week’s blog, I learned that the strawberry is a member of the rose family.  So I guess it’s a cousin to my friend Rose-iangelo the artist. I also learned that the name strawberry comes from the old English word streawberige given to the plant because it sends out runners that look like pieces of straw.

Now here’s something you might not want to try with your strawberries—it’s said that Madame Tallien, a member of the court of Napoleon, used to take baths in the juice of fresh strawberries.  She used 22 pounds per basin! I couldn’t find a picture of her, but if she needed that many strawberries for a bath I’m envisioning a fat lady with a real red complexion.

Here’s another weird strawberry fact. In parts of Bavaria, country folk still practice the traditional rite of hanging small baskets of strawberries from the horns of their cattle as an offering to elves. They think the elves love strawberries, so in return for the treat they’ll make sure the cows produce healthy calves and lots of milk. I personally don’t see how elves are going to do all that, I think they bamboozled someone at some point to get some easy strawberries, but hey, whatever works for you.

I can think of better things to do with my strawberries than hang them on my cow for the elves to steal.  For instance, there’s strawberry chiffon pie, strawberry cheesecake, strawberry jello and regular strawberry pie. (Thanks to my personal baker Sue for all these yummy treats. And I’ll be waiting for you to come share them with me, Jenn!)

One last thing about strawberries—the ancient Romans believed that the strawberry alleviated symptoms of melancholy. So if you’re feeling kinda down about anything, get yourself a plate of strawberries.

Or maybe follow my example by taking some down time in your hammock with a strawberry margarita by your side.